The Office Jester… every office needs one to group people into typical co-worker categories
Coworkers have always been the subject of ridicule. Even we have covered the subject of colleagues a number of times in our Office Jester series and we only curate the best videos on the internet. Can you imagine how many such videos must be out there? Heck, can you imagine how many weirdo colleagues there must be in the world if so many people are producing videos on weirdo colleagues? It must be a socioeconomic problem. Weird, right?
On Office Jester, we’ve approached this subject twice in the past – once in the guise of strange colleagues and the other under the ambit of annoying colleagues. Now, we want to bring you another stereotypical video and an even more stereotypical article on typical coworkers.
Typical Coworkers You’ll See Sometime in Your Career
Make no bones about it. These people exist. In fact, at Inkjet Wholesale, we have each of these categories thriving like there’s no tomorrow. You see, our boss is soft-hearted and believes in equal opportunity for all, regardless of how obnoxious or logically fallible the individual may be. Did you read the sarcasm in that para?
Coming back to this video, it begins quite intelligently and makes a poignant point straight off the bat. We do, indeed, spend the vast majority of our lives with typical coworkers when our closest and bestest people are our family members and friends.
And, we do it all so we can earn our keep. Who created this system, anyway? A system where you have to work with people you don’t like and do things you don’t enjoy so that you can eat. That’s right folks, it’s the bosses. Grab your pitchforks, gather your shovels, and put on your Guy Fawkes masks because This. Is. Sparta. Revolution.
Coming back to the video… again, it starts with a poignant point of comparing closest, most loved people with coworkers. It is very rare that coworkers become members of anyone’s closest, most loved group of people. The typical coworkers this video focuses on goes a long way answering why.
- The Crush: The best example of ‘appearances can be deceptive’. Lots of people crush over their colleagues. Typically, there is that one colleague who is the object of most people’s fantasised affection. No, we don’t know what it feels like. We’ve never been on the receiving end. We believe in ‘giving’. These distance-based fantasies are deceptive. They remind us of seeing an elephant’s ears from afar and finding it angelic only to go near and end up facing its bum.
- The Creep: This type of typical coworkers is obnoxious, annoying, persistent, and unbelievably unaware of how people see them. Sometimes, they’re even ridiculed in the open but they still don’t get it. After all, who tries to pick up a woman by flaunting an open tab at the yacht club or even regressive and judgmental statements that put down the opposite sex?
- Touchy feely coworker: These typical coworkers do not have any concept of personal space. It is almost as if they were born and brought in communist Soviet Union where everyone was so equal that they didn’t have personalities. While that is hyperbole, it won’t be surprising if these typical coworkers are part of a brood of siblings who lived together in one room and shared their undies. They are just too open with their physical selves, see people’s bodies as public property, and don’t understand the phrase ‘my body is a temple’.
- The New Guy: This is the genius. He’s the guy who proves the point that the human race is progressively looking younger because he shows no signs of ageing beyond 15 years. In truth, he’s just a kid who has had the right foods and care when he was young. More importantly, this kid has no other responsibilities like family and the little life tasks because his parents take care of everything. Thus, he’s a bundle of energy and the envy of everyone even minutely responsible for their lives.
- The Machiavellian Prince: We do love that phrase – “Machiavellian”. It has a certain class to it. For those of you who are normal and don’t mug up such elaborate words to impress others: Machiavellian can be defined as someone conniving and manipulative. You can recognise such typical coworkers by the fact that they’re dim-witted and that they try to get ahead through manipulation and backstabbing. Invariably, their devices backfire on them.
- The Prisoner: These typical coworkers are dreamers in a way. They crib about their jobs, they whine about their treatments, and they fantasise how wonderful their lives will be when they leave their current jobs. Unfortunately for them, they are like Brooks Hatlen from Shawshank Redemption. They wouldn’t know what to do when they got out.
- The Total Weirdo: A wonderful twist and break of the fourth wall in this video. The Total Weirdos are those typical coworkers that seem like “they’re hearing voices in their heads”. These are the individuals who are always thinking, thinking, thinking and not part of the general hubbub around them.
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